Why I keep losing focus — and what I'm doing about it

I've tried the Pomodoro technique four times. I downloaded three different focus apps. I put my phone in another room, turned on airplane mode, blocked websites, and made elaborate to-do lists the night before.

None of it lasted more than two weeks.

For a long time I thought I had a focus problem. Maybe ADHD. Maybe I was just lazy. Maybe I was one of those people who simply couldn't concentrate.

What I actually discovered

I don't have a focus problem. I have a direction problem. When I sit down to do something that genuinely matters to me — something I care about, something connected to where I want to go — I can work for hours without checking my phone. I forget to eat.

But when I sit down to do something I chose because I thought I should want it — a task that doesn't connect to anything real for me — my brain starts looking for exits within minutes. And it always finds one.

The phone. The notification. The random thought. These aren't the cause of the problem. They're just the exit doors my brain uses to escape work that doesn't mean anything to it.

The real question

So instead of asking 'how do I focus better?', I started asking 'what am I actually trying to build?'. And 'does this task connect to that?'

This sounds simple. It isn't. Most of us have a vague idea of what we want but no real clarity on why, which means the tasks we sit down to do feel disconnected from anything meaningful. And a disconnected task is just friction. Your brain doesn't want friction. It wants to go somewhere.

What I'm doing now

Before I sit down to work, I write one sentence: what is this for? Not a goal. Not a task. A reason. If I can't write that sentence, I don't sit down yet. I figure out the reason first.

It's not a perfect system. Some days I still drift. But I drift less. And when I do, I know it's not a focus problem — it's a clarity problem. Which means the solution isn't another app. It's a better question.